What Do We Do Now?
by R.O97
Summary: Sequel to I'm Not Giving Up On I (suggest you read that one first). (Almost) established Densi -Chapter 4 is up now- Disclaimer always stands.
1. Saturday Morning

_AN: This is the Sequel to my other story called __**I'm Not Giving Up On You**__. I suggest you read that one first to keep up with the story. Now I give you:_

What Do We Do Now?

Chapter 1 – Saturday Morning

**_Kensi pov_**

I woke up and I felt the sunlight hitting my face. Slowly I opened my eyes and I quickly realized I was not in _my_ bedroom and neither was I alone. I felt the tight grip around my waist and then I looked down, beneath warm blankets and soft sheets, I couldn't hold back the gasp the escaped my lips when I saw what my outfit was: I was on my birth suit.

I looked over my shoulder carefully to find a very sleepy Deeks twitching his nose, his scars didn't look so bad with the smile he had on his face. Once again I looked at the window and started remembering last night.

I kissed him and caught him off guard right after pouring my heart out so I apologized. But he grabbed me when I started walking away and made me look at him so he could tell me I didn't have to be sorry. And out of nowhere he kissed me…with all his power and passion and…it simply happened.

I have to admit though, it was better than any dream either of us could've ever had. It was…magical, lovely…_crazy mostly!_

All the time I was worried with his injuries but he kept reassuring me he was fine. So we made love. We made the most careful and honest love I've ever made.

But now I was panicking because I didn't know what the hell we were supposed to do now! Four kisses throughout all these years were enough for a night like this one to happen but… What are we going to do now? I needed some time to figure it out…

_Yeah… That's it! It's Saturday, maybe 10 in the morning, if I go now I'll still have the whole weekend to figure my entangled thoughts out. First I just need to-, _I thought but when I started thinking about getting away and tried to let go of Deeks' grip he only tightened it.

"Sunshine…" He called me in a whisper. I froze and started to freak out, in a blink of an eye I was sitting in his bed wrapped up in the sheet looking at the ground in front of me. Deeks must have sensed how afraid I was because a second after he was standing right next to me with an arm around my shoulders trying to help me out but I could feel he was almost as freaked out as I was. "Kens I…" It was all he managed to say.

I got up completely naked and grabbed all my clothes before running to bathroom and locking the door behind me. Then I leaned against the door and let myself slide until I was sitting on the floor with my face buried in my hands. _What the hell did we do?,_ I kept thinking to myself.

On the other side of the door I could hear him almost whispering. I knew he had run after me. I knew he was outside sitting on the floor just like me. He was trying to convince me to open the door so we could talk and figure things out… Honestly, I didn't feel like talking now, I ran to bathroom exactly to avoid talking. But this was Deeks…

**_Deeks pov_**

"Kens please open the door. Let me in… just…open the door Kensi please. Let's talk and figure this out." I tried to get her out of the bathroom but she wanted to be alone.

_God, what did I do? I ruined my chances of ever be with her… I screwed up!,_ I thought to myself. Sitting there outside the door I couldn't help but think how good the night had been.

Kensi was so worried about me, I thought she wasn't even enjoying it but then I reassured her I was not in pain and she seemed to relax a bit. I have to admit I wasn't completely comfortable but I didn't mind because I was with Kensi. And it was worthy because in the end of the night I could lay down and hold her in a way I hadn't hold any other girl before. I think no one else in the world had hold like that before, not even Jack, and I'm glad I could show her how I feel.

The last thing I remember is falling asleep with my fingers intertwined with hers, our hands fitting together as perfectly as if they had been made for each other.

But after all this little moments, the last thing I would expect from Kensi was a nice talk. Honestly I knew she was going to freak out. So now that she did freak out I have to make her talk, make her understand that I love her, that I'm in for the long run if she's with me. I want her for myself, I can't let her try to find happiness with some other guy when I know I can make her happy. I can.

"Kens, we have to talk, please let me talk to you…" I tried once again. She has to give me a chance, it's not like she can ignore me forever, right?

Still, I had no answer. Instead I heard her moving inside the bathroom and realized she was getting dressed. Then I heard the door being unlocked and I jumped out of there and stood waiting for her as I leaned against the wall.

Kensi opened the door (finally!) and got out. She looked at me and without saying a word I knew she was scared. I saw her mismatched eyes red from the tears that were still sliding down her cheek. "Can we talk Kens?" I stepped forward and tried to hold her hand but she wouldn't let me.

She looked at the ground and mouthed, "I'm sorry Deeks…" Again with the apologizing…I had told her she didn't need to be sorry about us, because I'm not either. But then I understood why she was saying sorry. I understood when she let my apartment running in her high heels and her beautiful black dress that she had worn on one of the best nights of my life. _Fuck._, I thought.

Now I needed to wait for her to clear her head before I could try to talk to her. I guess I needed to clear mine as well so I decided to go to the beach and surf for a while.

**XX**

**_Kensi pov_**

Finally I managed to get home in little time and I ran in to take a cold shower to try and clear my head. It felt great after these last hours. I don't know how long I was there but when I got out I looked in the mirror and my lips were purple due to the cold water.

I put on my sweatpants and one of my tank tops. I felt like I should talk to someone, maybe Nell, but I couldn't call her now. After last night she must have gone home with Eric. Their nerd dance was too steamy for them not to enjoy it after.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my phone. For a moment I thought it was Deeks trying to talk to me about last night but when I took it out of my purse the caller ID was Nell's. _What the heck?_

"Hey Nell, what's up?"

"Kens, it's so good to hear you. I think we need to talk…" She said and I could feel she was a little more than worried.

"About what?" I asked.

"I-uh… I went home with Eric last night." Nell almost whispered. "And now I'm freaking out! I came home now and I left him there with his mouth agape. Can I come over your house?" She asked. _Where have I seen that before?, _I thought.

"Wow! Yeah, you can come… I wanted to talk to you anyway."

"About what?" She repeated my question from just seconds before.

"Just…come over. Quickly." I almost begged.

**XX**

_Hey!_

_So here's the promised sequel to my first story. This is a short chapter, I know, but I promise (if you want me to continue) I will post longer chapters._

_Your thoughts will be welcomed,_

_Rita_


	2. A Decision

Chapter 2 – A Decision

**_Kensi pov_**

As I paced back and forth in my living and the minutes kept passing by, I thought I had never been any more nervous than I was right there. And Nell…I had talked to her ages ago and she still wasn't here! Thank god Deeks hadn't decided to show up… 'Cause well that would be… _awkward_.

Finally I heard a knock on my door, I waited a few seconds to make sure it wasn't Deeks and then I opened. In front of me stood a rather freaked out Nell Jones, a lot more shaky than usual. "Hey Kens, I'm sorry I took so long… I needed a cold shower and-"

"Hey, it's fine, I needed one too… Come in!" I said stepping aside to let her in. I closed the door and watched as Nell sat on the couch. "Can I get you something?"

"No, thanks I'm good here." Nell said with a weak smile on her face. I sat down next to her and then Nell looked at me, who was staring at the wall. "So… How was _it_?" She asked probably not knowing exactly what else to say…

I shook my head and sat up straight. "Well…" I started, "I'm in a dilemma…" I took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. "I enjoyed the night. I did. I mean, it was fun, we were careful and lovely really but…" I got up and started pacing back and forth in front of the TV once again. Lost in my thoughts I forgot what I was about to say and Nell had to save me.

"Kensi! But what? What's wrong?" Nell had to shake me off of dreamland, otherwise I wouldn't be able to finish my line of thought.

"I… It's just that… We're partners!"

"So what Kensi? Everyone knows you and Deeks would get together _eventually_! It was just a matter of time and you know it too Kens…" Nell sighed and got up to stand in front of me. "It's in your hands now to figure out what you want to do, end the dwell inside of you between your uncertainties and your feelings and decide if Deeks is worth the shot!" She said it and I was utterly astonished. The first thing on my mind was: _Deeks would always be worth the shot!_ But that was something I couldn't say out loud…Not yet.

"I know… It's not easy and I don't even know how _he _feels. The thing is now _I_ have to go talk to him because truth be told I kinda left him there just completely clueless! Right? That's the right thing to do, isn't it Nell?" I asked her and I felt like a crazy woman.

Nell nodded and I have to admit I was relieved. Then she asked me sincerely, "And do you know what you want to tell Deeks?"

"I guess I still have to think about some things…" And just like that the conversation about Deeks felt like it was over. Seeing Nell's worried look I sensed it was time to help her out with the Eric theme. "Nell, tell me how did it ended up happening?"

"Happening what?" She asked trying to avoid the truth. Nell sat back down on the couch and I followed. I opened the box of donuts I have strategically placed atop the coffee table and stretched it to Nell. She shook he head but I took one out before talking again.

"You…And Eric? How did it happen? I mean… We saw you guys leaving together after dancing for like an hour like a real couple, but we didn't know you would…"

"Yeah well… I was giving him a ride home because he had walked to the bar and in the car he…he took my hand in his and squeezed it. I looked at him and simply smiled, I was really nervous. And then I don't know… We reached his house and he just didn't let go of my hand. Next thing we know we we're kissing and…then I woke up and I got the hell out of there…and well here we are now…" Nell quickly explained with an awkward smile. "Kensi, I love Eric. I do. But how am I supposed to tell him that?"

"Nell, just… tell him. You two are great together and I can tell he'll be relieved about that." I'm not usually the type of girl who is used to give love advices but it is Nell and Eric and it's obvious and everyone sees it but them…

Nell nodded and she showed a confident smile this time. "You're right, I have to go look for Eric. Thank you Kens." We started walking to the door and when Nell was outside she turned around and said, "Have you ever thought about taking your own advices? You should one of these days!"

I shook my head at her words. Nell was right, I should listen to my own advices sometimes and this situation was definitely one of those… But I still had to think about what I wanted to tell Deeks. So there I was, alone again, feeling confused…no, _not_ confused, overwhelmed? Maybe. Out of my comfort zone? Definitely. But I knew what I wanted…Right! I just didn't have what I wanted because I was scared. And that's one of the biggest regrets of my life, not going for something that I love because I'm scared of the consequences…

_Blame it on my damn past!, _I thought.

**_Deeks pov_**

"I think blew it man… I waited for so long always afraid of what she might say or do but I had to man up! So when she took me home yesterday, I made a move. She didn't deny it in that moment but she took off as soon as she saw my face this morning, completely freaked out!"

"Not such a _sleeping beauty_ in the morning Eric?" I asked as we sat on our surfboards on our favorite beach in Malibu waiting for some waves to come. He glared at me. Apparently after Kensi left my house, not too far away Nell ran away from Eric's. I decided to surf for the rest of the morning, clear my head, but my poor brain's so full of Kensi Marie Blye plus when I arrived at the beach I saw Eric entering the water. And that was like two hours before our current conversation. I had been trying to lighten up the mood ever since not only for Eric but for me as well. "Look man, she'll come around."

"How can you be so sure of yourself?" Eric asked.

"It's Nell." I answered matter-of-factly looking at him. "Dude, she loves you! Everyone can see it but you… Don't worry, it's not like she's Kensi…" I looked down at my surfboard feeling completely lost. I hadn't felt like that since my first and only actual girlfriend left me because _'she got tired of the same routine'_, or so she said. Except that in that time I was 21 and we had been dating since high school.

I met Rachel, that's her name, in my sophomore year. I was 15 and my only friends were Noah and Ty – the three of us formed the coolest band from LA, the Touching Wood-, the rich kids didn't want to be friends with the people from our neighborhood but Rach wasn't like that. She was new in Los Angeles, her parents were modest workers and they all came here so her father could take on a job offer. So they left Chicago and Rachel went to my school, in my class. I think I fell for her pretty quickly at least that's what the guys were always saying. There was a group of girls who were always bugging her because she was new and she wasn't that rich. One day we were on our way home a few blocks away from school when we saw those girls bullying Rachel. Ty, Noah and I had to save the poor girl. Ever since that day the four of us were always together and we eventually started dating. Half a year later, I met her parents and she met my mom, I already knew her brother and she already knew my sister, they went to the same school.

After graduation, almost a year and a half later, I went to Law School in UCLA and Rachel went to Austin, University of Texas for her degree in Architecture. We kept in touch, we would visit each other but eventually we finished our courses in July 1999. She came back home and we talked about moving in together when we started working in October. We never made that dream come true… With work came stress, with stress came occasional fights and with the fights came words we regretted. Another year went by though and in the middle of September 2000, 13th September 2000 actually, we hit our break point. We had this huge fight about our future and in the end she said, "I'm sorry Marty, I can't do this anymore… It's not you, it's me. I just don't…I don't feel the same." I'll never forget the words with which Rachel Pierce left me, a 21 year old kid with a broken heart. Two years later someone told me she was engaged to a doctor, a neurosurgeon from Sacramento, 10 years older than her. At least I hope he makes her happy…

Ever since the day we broke up I promised myself I would never ever rely on another woman so deeply unless I was sure she was the one. And _she _is the one…

Eric patted my back and shook away my thoughts, fortunately. "What happened with you two Deeks?" He finally asked and I had to let it out.

"I was supposed to drive her to the club yesterday but my car wouldn't start. So she took us and when she drove me back to my place I asked her to stay and grab a beer. But with the first beer came the second and when I realized, I was out of beer in the house. We fell asleep on my couch and she woke up around 4 am. I woke up too and I was no longer tipsy. And apparently neither was Kensi because when I walked her to the door she started to put her heart out. Then BAM! Out of the blue she kisses me and tries to walk away. But I didn't let her go, I couldn't. So I made a move and we spent the night together… The problem was when this morning she disappeared. She said _'I'm sorry Deeks…'_ and walked away. I think that know she needs space, I guess…" There. I said everything I needed to say and I still felt lost…

I stared at the shore, I could feel my eyes becoming teary, when I saw a little figure next to our things. Definitely a woman. For a moment I thought it was Kensi but she was too short. It could only be one person then… "Hey Eric isn't that your girl holding your towel? I told you she would come back!" I told Eric who grinned as if Christmas had arrived earlier. But instead of catching a wave to go and talk to Nell, the man just stood there sitting on his board. "Dude what are you waiting for? Go! Let me tell you…if that girl there was Kensi I wouldn't have thought twice before going to the water! You shouldn't either Eric…"

Before catching the next wave he looked back at me. "You should tell her all that you just told me bro…and what you didn't but I know you were thinking." And with that he left to reach the shore and in a few minutes Eric and Nell were out of my sight. I decided to go for lunch and then come back to the beach until I was dying of hypothermia due to the freezing water.

**XX**

Sunday was pretty much like Saturday: lonely, scary but calm and soothing. I surfed all weekend to try and keep my mind off of Kensi but it was _god damn hard! _And the problem is the woman has an overwhelming power over me and she doesn't even realize it, and that's what kills me.

In the morning I received a text message. I was in the kitchen so I ran to my living room thinking it was Kensi. Yeah right! It was Eric's ID.

_THANKS FOR THE HELP MAN! IT WORKED OUT AND I BELIEVE YOU'RE THE FIRST TO KNOW THE NEWS. –E_

I was disappointed but smiled at the thought that my friends were finally together, like they were supposed to. I texted him back.

_WAY TO GO BRO! I'M GLAD YOU GUYS ARE FINALLY TOGETHER. –D_

A minute or two went by and he answered.

_THANKS DEEKS. REMEMBER WHAT I SAID YESTERDAY, JUST DO IT! YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE, RIGHT? _

As I sat on my board that afternoon I couldn't stop thinking about Eric's message. I needed to tell Kensi. _Talk_ to her, not just _showing_ her that I love her. She obviously knew _that_ now… Around 6 pm I went home, I was starving. The last few months had been…tough, at _least._ Everyone could see I was different, I was not myself. I lost many things after being tortured but one of the worst things was losing my appetite.

During my recovery when I came back home, on the days Kensi was not there to help me with my bruises or simply spend time with me, I would almost always forget to eat or drink. I started losing a lot of weight and Kensi noticed it and that's why she started coming to my place every day after work and whenever it was her lunch time she would call me to remind me she had put the leftovers from our dinner in the previous night in the fridge. That was one the main things that helped get back on my feet. Maybe not the call but _definitely_ Kensi… Well things would never go back to what they were before but having Kensi by my side, I have to say, it helped. A lot.

Around 7pm I was sitting on one of the stools at the kitchen island with a plate of macaroni and cheese in front of me when I heard someone knocking at my door. Monty ran to the door whimpering. It probably was Mrs. Wainwright complaining about leaving Monty in the backyard while I was gone. I opened absentmindedly ready to apologize. "Oh I'm so-" But I was cut off when I looked at the person before me.

"Hi. Can I talk to you?" I couldn't believe it. The reason of my restless nights was standing in front of me once again. Kensi Marie Blye was right there asking shyly if she could talk to me. I swear I had never seen her like that… And I was so impressed that I forgot to answer her, instead I just stared at her mismatched eyes.

"Uh-sure. Come in…" I answered after several seconds of silence. As I stepped aside to let her in and closed the door, I ruffled the hair in the back of my neck and thought to myself, _This will be a long night Marty…_

**XX**

_First of all, thank you so much for all your reviews! They really help me improve and write faster and better…_

_Secondly, what do you say? What do you think it should happen between the two of them? Please review and leave your opinion =)_

**_Stay Awesome,_**

**_Rita_**


	3. Help

Chapter 3 – Help

**_Deeks pov_**

_"Hi. Can I talk to you?" I couldn't believe it. The reason of my restless nights was standing in front of me once again. Kensi Marie Blye was right there asking shyly if she could talk to me. I swear I had never seen her like that… And I was so impressed that I forgot to answer her, instead I just stared at her mismatched eyes._

_"Uh-sure. Come in…" I answered after several seconds of silence. As I stepped aside to let her in and closed the door, I ruffled the hair in the back of my neck and thought to myself, This will be a long night Marty…_

**XX**

**_Kensi pov_**

I walked in and immediately smelled Deeks' macaroni and cheese. "Something smells good…" I said nervously knowing I was just trying to avoid the reason I was standing in his living room.

"Macaroni and cheese, want some? I was just getting started." Deeks said.

"Uh-sorry… maybe I should come back another time, I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner." I said in the same tone as before.

"No, it's okay… It's…never mind. What brings you here?"

"I needed to apologize for yesterday. I'm sorry Deeks… I didn't mean to freak out like that, I-" I stopped when I saw him sitting on the couch and holding up a hand towards me.

"Kens…" He patted the spot next to him and I sat down. "Just listen to me for a second here, will ya?" I nodded looking into his eyes.

"We're doing everything wrong." He said looking away. Deeks must have felt me shudder because he quickly looked at me again and took my hands in his. "Relax, I'm not pushing you away. What I'm trying to say is I kissed you and then I disappeared and when I was recovering we didn't talk about it… I recovered a bit thanks to you and somehow we got to last Friday and we still didn't talk. We acted upon our feelings… That's our biggest mistake, we _never_talk." He told me sincerely. "I want us to talk Kensi, I need…" Deeks trailed off and looked away again.

I squeezed his hand to make him look at me. He didn't. So I spoke up. "Help."

"What?" He looked up.

"You need help. You need someone who can listen to you without judging. I know you don't trust that many people but…all I'm asking is that you trust me. I want to help you. I want and I _can _be that someone who will listen to anything you have to say because…" I trailed off this time. There was something I needed to tell him but how could I? "Look, I thought you were death, Deeks, and I would never be able tell you the truth! So I'm sorry for the brutal honesty but I can't keep this bottled anymore." I took a deep breath and, "I love you Deeks." I finally said it! Well…it was more like a whisper but it took almost everything that I had inside of me to let it out… And I looked away. I couldn't stand seeing those baby blue eyes… I could feel the rejection coming at me.

We just stood there in silence. Several minutes went by, I kept my eyes trained on the floor but I could feel Deeks' eyes stuck on me. He still had my hands in his – which seemed like a good sigh – and suddenly I started feeling tears streaming down my face, landing on my hands. I knew Deeks could feel them too since my hands were underneath his. His instinct was automatically pull me against his warm and soothing body but instead of trying to run away, I found myself giving into his embrace. It felt good. Deeks was the first person that actually made me feel safe and calm since my father's death. He felt like home, just like Dad. I know now that Mr. Don Blye would've liked Deeks. He would've admitted he had character, that even though he was a shaggy haired detective – unlike his Marine manners – he had a kind heart. Dad would've been the first to know about my feeling towards him, I'm _sure._

I don't know how long we stood there holding each other, but when he pulled back slightly, I felt like I never wanted for him to let me go.

**_Deeks pov_**

I had to hold her. I mean – she was crying because she loved me and she thought I'd never know it. Kensi Blye actually said she was in love with _me_! I honestly felt like a twelve year old girl whose crush said 'hi' while walking by when Kensi said that but when I felt her tears in my hands…_Oh man!_ My heart broke a little so I pulled her close. And all I was thinking about as we stood there was how my sister would've liked Kensi, but she ran away and I hadn't heard from her since, just like my mom… I thought of how I'd never let Kensi get near my father, how Ray would kick my ass if he saw that I'd made Kensi cry…

I had to say something, _right?_ Because maybe, maybe she was crying because I remained silent… _Wait, that's it!_ _I'm such an idiot!_

"Kens?" I called, clearly she was deep in thought because I felt no kind of response so I called her name again. "Kensi?"

"Hmm? What?"

I pulled back a little more to look into her eyes, to show her what I had to say was real and sincere. "I love you Kensi. I want _you_ to be that person. You know what Sam told me when Hetty said I needed a friend to talk to? He told me Michelle was always there for him when something bad happened and _I_ should find someone like that… Now I realize it was you. He was talking about you Kensi… And listen to me, I want to make this right. I…" I had to take a deep breath. "I need _your_ help Kens…" I finally admitted. I mean, I owed her that much honesty. The truth was I couldn't get her out of my mind, time didn't make me forget the love I felt for her, other girls didn't make her disappear from my thoughts. Actually, they only made it worse… I kept comparing the poor girls with Kensi and it just wasn't fair – nothing compares to one Kensi Marie Blye!

I felt her trying pull back completely and I let her. Then she looked away to wipe her tears but I approached her to wipe them myself carefully and kindly.

"What do we do now, then?" She asked me once her gorgeous mismatched eyes were dry.

I couldn't help smiling when I looked into her eyes. It was a weak smile but it was still a smile that only Fern would get from me…

"I don't know… What about some macaroni and cheese for now?" I smiled a little wider as I was getting honestly hungry and I made Kensi smile and nod even though this was probably not the best time to joke around.

"Well I really am hungry…" She muttered under her breath.

I stood up and turned around extending my hand to help her up. She took the hint and we started walking towards the kitchen until Kensi put her hand around my bicep and made me turn around.

Kensi looked into my eyes with so much passion – I correct, so much _love_ – I could see it… She put her hands around my neck and mine went around her waist. Slowly she leaned n and closed her eyes. I did the same to meet her halfway and close the space between us as our lips met. I had been waiting for this for a long time… Friday had been great but a little too quick and awkward, I guess. Our first two kisses had been…_mind-blowing_! But this…oh boy! This was the most spectacular thing that had ever happened to me. Damn… I couldn't think of anything better than kissing this woman, having Bad Ass Blye all to myself. Right there, there was not rush, there was no undercover work, no one else to stop us…and you know what? It felt right!

Once breathless, we pulled away from that kiss only to make me miss those soft and reassuring lips of hers pressed against mine. "Wow… That was…" She gasped.

"Perfect…" I completed and she nodded in agreement. "I should've told you how I felt a long time ago… I should've just gathered the courage and say what I had to say… I should've-" Kensi cut me off with another kiss, a quicker kiss, yes, but still a kiss from Kensi.

"Sorry, you were babbling…" She said wearing that smile I swear she has only for me.

"Well, I'll make sure to babble a lot more from now on…" I showed her one of my most honest smiles. "Now, how about some food?"

**XX**

We ate, we watched, we talked and cried, a lot. Well, at least a lot more than we had ever before. And I loved every second of it… I finally had someone to talk to about my pain, the torture, the loss and how the time I spent alone was, not only difficult, but also dark and depressing. I told Kensi a lot more things than I would ever tell a psychologist or anyone else, really… And by the end of the night I was feeling rather…_lighter._

Around 11pm we were sitting on the couch and the way we were sitting there only made me think of how domestic we looked and how I didn't want Kensi to go home yet…

**XX**

**_Kensi pov_**

It was almost 11:30 and I was still at his house. Nothing weird about that, right? Well, before _Sidorov_, it was a totally normal thing to happen on Friday nights or something… But then again before Sidorov's case, Deeks hadn't kissed me…_ever!_

However, after all that happened to us, we were finally letting some happiness enter our souls… And honestly, we deserved it.

We were sitting on the couch with Monty next to us. I was sitting on one of the corners and Deks had his head resting atop of my legs, the rest of his body spread all over the length of the couch. Somehow during the evening my hand found its way to his hair. I wasn't ruffling or tousling it, not at all, actually I was only touching and massaging those gorgeous blonde locks, while taking in his wonderful scent.

I was actually loving our current position and the fact that now I knew he truly trusted me with everything, just like I did with him, made my heart warm.

Though I wished I could stay like that forever, it was Sunday night, the next morning we would get up at 6am and Deeks probably tired. "Well, I think I better get going. It's getting late…" I said not moving one bit from my spot.

Deeks shot his head up and sat back up looking at me with puppy dog eyes. "Already?"

I nodded. "I'm afraid so, tomorrow is Monday. You probably want to rest…" I said with a sad voice and got up.

As I was collecting my things to go, Deeks remembered something important. "Hey Kens? I don't mean to thing or anything alright? But… What are we supposed to do about our '_thing'_?

"We'll…figure it out. We always do." I answered simply smiling but not really thinking about it.

He smiled back but not so sure of my words. "What do you mean? You want to tell the guys that we're together? Just come out clean? Tell them you're helping me?" Deeks was starting to hyperventilate, I could hear it in his voice.

I approached him, took his hands in mine and spoke to him softly. " Deeks, we'll figure things out…one day at a time. We don't have to tell them right away, okay? You and I, _we're_ going to see how our 'thing' goes and how your recovery from now on develops… After that we can talk about what we have to do…" I explained and finished with a crooked smile but that was enough to make him smile too and I felt him relaxing in my hands. Gently I kissed his lips once again and turned to leave his house. "See you tomorrow?" I asked when we were both standing in his threshold.

"I hope so Fern." There it was, again with that nickname I always despise, except that this time it actually felt good to hear it. It felt as if thing really could get back to normal, the way they were before. He leaned down and kissed me passionately before I got out to the dark night. I was already in his driveway when I heard him again. "Hey Kens! Hold up a sec, what do you think about a date next Saturday?" He asked with a grin playing at his lips.

I looked at him and smirked. "I'll think about it…" I teased and hopped on my car to drive away.

**XX**

When I got home I went straight to bed, still completely astonished with the way my evening had unfolded itself. But now it was 3 in the morning and I was still wide awake in the middle of my cold dark bedroom. It is incredible how my body was actually missing something it had become addicted to in just a few hours. _I_ was missing Deeks' warm body against mine and it was getting really hard to fall asleep in that huge – at least it seemed like that at the time – bed. I wanted Deeks by my side all the time, better than that – I _needed_ him there. I would only feel he was honestly safe if I had him wrapped around me… Who knew that someday that shaggy haired man would have this effect on me!

As I kept rolling and turning under the bed white sheets I almost missed the sound coming from my phone atop of my bedside table. When I heard it though I reached for it seeing who was calling me… it was none other than Martin A. Deeks. I immediately thought he was in danger or something had gone wrong and e was at the hospital or…_worse_. I quickly picked up the phone and a hushed voice came out of my lips. "Deeks?"

"Princess…sorry if I woke you up" He whispered on the other end.

"It's fine, I wasn't sleeping… What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked rather worried about him.

"Yeah… It's just that I…can't sleep." Deeks admitted calmly but I still didn't know if he really was okay.

"Do you need me to come over, I can just get on my car and…" I suggested right away.

"No there's no need in that… But maybe you could just open your front door, it's 3 in the morning. I know we're in LA but it's still cold at night Kens!" He said and I could hear the smile forming in his lips.

"What are you talking about?" I asked in a chuckle still tangled in the bed sheets.

"Come to the door, you'll see…"

I did as I was told after hanging up the phone. When I was by the front door, dressed in sweatpants and a tank top, I sighed and thought to myself, _Boy, he must be kidding me…He wouldn't come to my house at this hour…_

And then I opened the door… There he stood, Detective Marty Deeks in a pair of sweatpants, t-shirt and a hooded jacket with a go-bag in his hand. I couldn't believe it…

"Deeks what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep. You weren't there…" Deeks said matter-of-factly.

"I could've driven to your house, you wouldn't have to leave home. Come in, you were right, it really is freezing outside…" I stepped aside to let him in but he walked in my direction to place a sweet loving kiss that I reciprocated.

After I closed the door, Deeks had already taken his jacket off and placed his go-bag in my bedroom. It was as if we had been sleeping in each other's house for years, feeling so comfortable… He looked at me and smiled. "I'm tired Fern, aren't you?"

I didn't answer, just yawned and nodded in response, so he continued. "Shall we head to bed?"

"I thought you'd never ask…" I said grinning as I walked past him and laid on the right side of my bed.

Minutes later we were both in bed and Deeks had his right arm around my waist, his hand placed on my abdomen. My hand was right on top of his and I could feel every breath he took as his chest was glued to my back.

Soon enough both of our breaths evened as we started drifting off to sleep…

**XX**

_Hey everyone (the ones who are still reading this story)!_

_So I know I haven't updated in a while but school's been taking a lot more of my time than I thought it would in the first weeks, anyway – I made it!_

_What do you think about this chapter? You know a review always makes me happy =)_

**_Stay Awesome,_**

**_Rita_**


	4. If Only Every Day Could Be Like This

_To all the helpless romantics, this one is for you!_

_-R.O16_

* * *

_Chapter 4 – If Only Every Day Could Be Like This_

**_Kensi pov_**

It had been a great week! Deeks and I had hung out every night though never stayed together until the morning in each other's house again. Honestly I didn't want to leave him but it was too suspicious if we appeared at the same time at OSP the next morning. I don't remember ever being happier in my life since my dad died. Deeks was everything I needed and didn't know I wanted. He isn't perfect but then again neither am I! He's intoxicating, I wish his scent could stay forever in my sheets and his arms around my body… Last Sunday it felt so…_natural_, as if we had done it for years and I swear I didn't want to get up on Monday.

Last night we went on our first real date. No pressure, no intruders, no distractions. Just me, Deeks and the LA _night_. And _oh boy_, did he look badass… The jeans and the black leather jacket fit perfectly with the simple white t-shirt underneath. He took me to the movies after dinner at my favorite restaurant. In the end of the night, only like a _true_ gentleman would, he walked me to my door and when I was already inside the house, he turned me around to kiss me tenderly, like his life depended on my lips. In that moment I knew my heart belonged to him and no one else, so I made sure he felt it too…

We agreed on spending the weekend together and I almost felt like a teenager when he said goodbye with an '_I love you'_. _Yes_, we're partners and we already spend the whole week together but now it's different… I kind of _need_ to have him on my line of sight to make sure he's truly okay. With the abduction and the torture I realized I was missing out on my chance with him, on _our_ chance. It's crazy how I feel the constant need to make him happy, to make him feel good with himself and feel at ease around me… So that leads us to Saturday!

Today I promised him it would be all about him: we went to the beach during the morning, he surfed for almost two hours as I stayed with Monty in the towel either reading a book or observing Deeks. It was a peaceful morning, when he came back from the water I was half asleep under the parasol so, he changed from his wet suit to his beach shorts and carefully placed his body beside mine. What woke me up completely was his shaggy wet and cold hair on my warm back when he … "Deeks!" I almost jumped at the touch of his hair on my lower back and I sat on my towel facing him.

Although his lips formed a smug grin, he still looked at me innocently with those puppy dog eyes I love. "What did I do Sunshine?"

"I don't know…maybe and just maybe, your hair is _cold_ and my back is _hot!_" I rolled my eyes which just made him chuckle.

Deeks leaned forward until he approached my ear. "Want me to help you warm up again Fern?" He whispered in a sultry voice.

I playfully punched his shoulder and pushed him away from me back to his towel. "I'll…think about it…" I teased smirking.

His cocky grin was delightful – I hadn't seen it in a while… "Yeah, I know you will Princess…" Deeks said and then leaned once more this time to kiss me passionately. _Damn!_ It felt so good those lips of his… Best of all, it felt completely normal between us. As if my lips fit his and _only_ his. I was just glad that I had my partner back…

We pulled back breathlessly and smiled at each other sheepishly until a growl emerged from my stomach, he laughed. "What do you say we go feed that tiger huh?"

"Oh! We're getting cocky again aren't we?" I told him chuckling.

His goofy grin turned to something more serious as he looked me in the eyes with such…_tenderness and sincerity._ "It's your fault, you bring out the best in me." And then he pulled me for yet one more kiss.

It was a quicker and softer kiss that broke seconds later. I could've teased him for saying that, answer something like _"If being cocky is the best in you, I'm doomed!",_ but I didn't. I knew he was being genuine, he deserved something equally honest in return. "I'm glad I'm the one who's able to do that for you…"

**_Deeks pov_**

_You were always the one._, that's what I thought when she answered me, but I didn't voice it. Instead, I smiled and got up. Stretching out a hand I saw her smile as well and taking my hand to follow my lead. "Come on Kens, let's find something to eat." I said and we started gathering our things.

"How about tacos?" She suggested as she walked to the car.

* * *

Kensi gave me one of the best days of my life ever since the abduction. Carefree, funny, lovely, she provided me a day just me. _And I loved it._

After lunch we headed back to the beach where we just sat back relaxing, talking, caressing, _you know_, normal could stuff… I guess that's the weird part though, we're not a normal couple but for some reason this all felt too _good_ to be true. But it was… Monty was a great company – don't get me wrong – but daddy needed a girlfriend for a long time now. More than that, I needed _her._ I knew I wasn't just "her partner" for her and if I couldn't have her then I didn't want anyone else…

We watched the sunset together. Kensi sat between my legs as I hugged her from behind to place my hands on her stomach. She leaned back and I leaned in, she had her head on my chest and I placed mine atop of her shoulder after kissing her neck softly. We watched as surfers and joggers, tourists and locals, families and loners walked away and only when the light wasn't enough did we get up to leave.

I drove us back to my house after picking up some Thai food – my favorite. We sat on the couch eating in a comfortable silence but when we finished, Kensi stood up rather quickly taking the empty cartons to the kitchen and returning not even five minutes later with a sweet smile on her face. "So what movies do you have here? Better yet! What's your favorite from these ones?" She asked quite enthusiastically pointing to my collection of DVD's on the shelf next to the TV. Kensi was still on her beach shorts and tank top, it had been a hot day but now it was getting to cold to stay on those clothes and I could see her shivering slightly.

"Don't you want to take a hot shower first Fern?" I asked kindly. "It's getting late and I can see you're tired, when the movie starts you'll fall asleep on me with your beach clothing. Come on, I know your getting chills Sugarbear!" I predicted and finished with a smirk. "Unless…you want to stay in those clothes _and_ fall asleep on me so I can undr-"

"Don't finish that sentence Deeks!" She warned. "But I'll give you that, I am getting cold. Can you tell me where your towels are then?"

"Cupboard under the washstand."

"Thanks. Want to keep me some company Shaggy?" Kensi asked playfully.

I raised my eyes to hers pondering her offer. It was too tempting, imagine: me helping her with her bikini, she helping me with my shorts…AHH! I shook my head to get these appealing images out of my head and opted to be a gentleman. "I thought we were taking things slow princess, and you know that if I go there to "keep you company" I won't be taking _anything_ slow… So I'll wait for you here and then I'll and take a shower myself, okay?" _More like an extremely cold shower, after all the things you'll imagine while she's in the shower in your bathroom!_, I thought.

Then I saw her nod quietly, the smile never leaving her beautiful face. "Alright then, I'll be right back." She turned around and started walking to my bedroom but before she could disappear I had to remind her of something.

"Hey Kens?" She stopped and turned to face me. I heard her 'Hmm' and took a deep breath. "I love you, never forget that…" I could feel myself blush a little but nothing compared to her in that moment. Her cheeks were just a faint shade of red and a sheepish grin formed on her lips as she looked away almost embarrassed. I knew she wasn't used to hear these words, at least from someone who meant them, _so_… She then turned back to the bedroom and went for her shower as I waited patiently on the couch watching some trashy TV and trying not to think about her completely naked in my bathroom.

In less than half an hour she had her pj's on when she came back to the living room. Her damp hair was starting to curl on those chocolate locks I fell in love with. I told her to sit back and relax as I shower rather quickly not wanting to leave her even for a second but I knew good old Monty would take great care of Kensi since he loved almost as much as I did.

We ended up watching some late night show instead of a movie when I came back. I didn't mind and I don't think Kensi did either because we just sat there cuddling as if we needed to hold each other to survive. That was until I hear her yawn and trying to get more comfortable against my body to get some sleep.

"Hey Fern, don't you get too comfortable here princess…" I said chuckling.

"Why not?" Her sleepy voice was _god damn cute! _She turned around in my arms to look into my eyes with those gorgeous mismatched eyes. "I want to be here…" Another yawn.

"You'll be grumpy all day tomorrow because you slept on my uncomfortable couch. Come on, want me to carry you Fern?" I said smiling and I could feel my eyes twinkling.

**_Kensi pov_**

I'm perfectly capable of getting myself in bed and I wanted so bad to say no but I was so comfortable in his arms that I decided to keep the banter going even if just to decide what I actually wanted.

"Do _you_ want to carry me to bed?" I asked rather defiantly.

"Only if you want to be carried Sunshine…"

I didn't want to "fight" anymore over this, I was feeling tired and without energy to think about smart remarks to his statements, _yes_ because deep down I knew he was right. I knew I would be a bad person to be around tomorrow if I stayed there… But I would never let him carry me, I didn't know if his bruises were fully healed yet, I mean, only a _week_ ago we made love and he _still_ had bruises across his chest and stomach… I looked at him in the eyes and with honesty I shook my head. "No, I can go by myself. Thanks."

I started to move so I could get up but his ideas were different and in a blink of an eye Deeks scooped me and got up to carry me to his bedroom. I looked at him shocked but he just laughed at my face. "What?"

"What are you doing? I told I could walk to bed Deeks…" I really was worried about him but he didn't really care…

"I'm carrying you to bed, what does it look like I'm doing princess?" He said completely relaxed.

Deeks took me to the bedroom and carefully put me down atop of his bed after closing the door with his foot. He then looked at me and grinned. "There you go. Now we can lie down and you can still cuddle with me and you can fall asleep peacefully without thinking about sore muscles in the morning…"

How could I keep the smile off my face? I couldn't! It's just that…he's _so…_romantic! He's just so much better at this than I ever thought, and believe me, I _thought_ about it. So I smiled but not too widely, I was worried. "What were you thinking? You could've hurt yourself… I know your bruises are not completely healed. Do you want me to take a lo-"

"Kensi, I'm okay, for real." He interrupted me by taking my hands in his and speaking as softly as he could. Then he took off his T-shirt and I couldn't help but actually _stare_. "See? I'm just fine. No bruises, no cuts, no scars on my torso anymore. Can you relax now, please?"

I didn't know what to say. Deeks was topless in front of me with that innocent look on his face that I didn't know how much more I could handle when talking about "taking things slow". "I'm sorry. I was worried about you, I don't want to hurt you Deeks."

"Princess, you won't hurt me, believe me. Now come here…" He said and pulled me in for a hug in which I closed my eyes and took in his wonderful scent before he pulled back and took my hand in his one more time to help me lie down and get covered.

He switched off the lights and went around the bed to lie down next to me. As I felt the mattress sinking due to his weight, I tried to reach his body, his warmth and I only stopped when I felt his arm around my waist holding tight to my stomach, his other on my still damp hair and his lips on my shoulder and collarbone and neck... Only then did I stop moving and let out a content sigh. "We'll be alright princess…" He whispered in my ear as we both started drifting off to sleep.

"As long as we're together…" With eyes fully close now, that was my almost unconscious response.

* * *

Monty, me and Deeks holding hands and walking along the shore. Curiously there's a girl around the age of five and a little boy almost as old as the girl running around in front of us. That's what I see. Then the girl starts running in our direction, her long blonde locks are gold and those perfect green eyes are so vivid and determined they remind me of my father. She looks up at Deeks and says _"Can we eat ice cream Daddy?" _ Deeks looks down at her and grins. _"Of course we can baby girl!"_

At the same time the boy tries to follow his (presumably) sister but his steps are still clumsy and he trips on a sand pile and falls to the ground. Quickly I let go of Deeks' hand and ran to the little guy who is starting to cry by now. I kneel down next to him and put my hand under his chin to make him look at me. His chocolate brown hair has grains of sand all over and his ocean blue eyes are teary and sad. _"Sshh baby, mommy is-"_

"NOOO! NOT HER!" The screams of a man startle me and I'm awake trying to make myself aware of my surroundings. It's Deeks. He's having a nightmare and I have to shake him out of it.

I sit back against the headboard and switch on the light from the bedside table. I look at him and see him struggle with whatever his dreaming about. I launch myself at him and shake his shoulders all the while asking for him to wake up. "Deeks, I'm right here! Please wake up! Please, please wake up partner!"

When he finally wakes up he looks at me shocked and worried. His shaggy hair is slightly wet on its edges and his heartbeat is hasty. I place my left hand on his bare chest and I can feel him relaxing a little more under my touch. Then I pull him in for a hug and I repeatedly kiss his temple. "There, it was just a nightmare. I'm right here, everything is fine and you're safe, okay?" We stood just like that for a few moments for him to calm down and recover his breath. "Do you want some water?" I asked but he shook his head. I pulled back just a tad to look him in the eyes. "Babe, what's wrong? Want to talk to me about your nightmare?" I asked utterly confused about why I had just called him _'babe'. _It is just so weird to even think about it but in that moment it kind of…_felt right_.

Deeks swallowed hard and looked away for a brief moment, then turned his head once again towards mine. "It's just that… I don't know what happened. I haven't had nightmares like this in a while… But this one was horrible. I was dreaming about you and me in the beginning but then something else led to that dark room again. When they opened the giant doors once again to reveal Sam, there was no Sam. _You_ were sitting on that chair and I couldn't move or do anything else to save you… I was so sorry, I kept begging and begging until you finally woke me up and I could see you were just fine…" He explained as my heart broke for him.

I kissed his forehead and flashed him a crooked smile. "I'm alright Deeks, seriously… Now you need to focus on trying to calm down and go back to sleep because it's still 4 in the morning okay?"

"You know, every day, for as long as I can remember, I'm afraid that one day I'll wake up to a world without you in it. And it scares the hell out of me… That's why I think we've missed out on each other for too long. That's why waking up to your beautiful face helps me with that little pain in my heart and the demons in my head. I'm so lucky that I have you in my life Kens…" Deeks said and I could feel the tears coming to my eyes. Not sad tears, tears of joy that he quickly wiped away when they started to fall. I smiled at him and leaned down to place a delightful kiss on his lips.

"If it's in my hands, I'll make sure you don't have to worry about having a world without me. And I'm glad I can help you in any way that I can, I really am. I love you." I said as we started to lie down once more and he put one arm around my waist and the other under my head as a pillow.

"I love you too…" He whispered to me just before I allowed myself back into dreamland…

* * *

_Hey guys!_

_I just wanted to say thanks to those of you who are still reading this story. As you should know, ever since school started I have been reeeally busy. But, all the time I have left goes to my stories._

_I hope you liked this chapter and it's not too OOC._

_You know a review it's always welcome! :D_

_Stay Awesome,_

_-R.O16_


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